23-09-09

Feeling rather confused, guilty, pleased, and happy today. Its really a mixture of lots of different feelings. Shall elaborate some and not do so for the other some.

Confused with somethings that i felt is very very important for me, my life and my future. I hope to sort it out soon, and i really hope so.

Guilty and pleased comes tgth today. 4 months ago, i board this cab back home late at night, few secs aft he drove off, he said he needs to visit the loo, so he stop and went to a petrol kiosk. I saw him accidentally kick onto a bolt and nut that is left there after the lamp post was removed. Imagine its very painful, but he still limp his way back and fetch me all the way home. Throughout the journey, i knew he was really in pain, but i tght he will get well soon perhaps after a little rest. But that wasn't the case to be. Fate brought us back tgth again today as after so many days of not taking cab, i decide to cab home again today. And i regconise him the moment i saw him standing beside his cab, so i decided to board his cab instead. I asked him if he still rmb my place as he fetch me back b4, he don't exactly rmb, thus i reminded him by saying his kick on the bolt incident. And instantly it brought him back his memory of me. He continue on by telling me that after he alighted me that night, he was abmitted into the hospital and stayed there for almost 4months. I was like OMG!!! It immediatly made me feel guilty and sad, i know it has nth to do with me, but i just feel kind of guilty especially when he is alr an old man. He broke his heel bones and also broke 3 of his nerves. Right now he is still using a walking stick, but still needs to drive as they need to support themselve. The guilt feeling just haunt me up till now, and i don't know why. But i feel a little at ease after paying him RM100 for a RM18 ride, and i got his number so that if i'm in town nxt time and he is also able to fetch me, thn i will let him earn more. I'd rather oay him more so that he don't have to drive for longer hours. god bless him and hope he recover fully soon.

And lastly, i'm happy cuz finally i'm on leave again. And going Genting again. But of course the happiest thing is the companion from someone who really means alot to me. Thats the most important!!!(: I hope it will be 1st of many enjoyable trips with this special someone. *Pray!!*

Okay, gonna have some rest now and wake up early tmr to repair my car.

Tata!